How Long Do We Have to Feel Guilty?
That’s the question I got from a student following a White privilege presentation I gave at an InterVarsity conference last month.
“So, like, I think I get this White privilege stuff and everything but, like,
how long do we have to feel guilty about it? I mean, really?”
Several of the other students leaned forward in their seats as I contemplated my answer. It’s a good question and one that probably surfaces at some point for most White folks grappling with this subject.
I feel uncomfortable! How long do I have to sit with this sense of unease? Do I have to feel guilty forever?
Adventures in Missing the Point
While I understand the sentiment behind it, I think it’s the wrong question.
First, it assumes that guilt is bad. Unlike shame, guilt is not a negative emotion. It’s unpleasant, yes, but according to Dr. Brene Brown, guilt is actually adaptive and helpful. It allows a person to hold something that they have done (or not done) up against their personal values and feel a psychological discomfort. It carries with it the power to prompt meaningful and lasting change.
Second, for this particular conversation, it’s important to note the difference between personal guilt and collective guilt. Collective, or communal, guilt isn’t something that we readily understand in our culture. We are an individualistic society. We want to know what we, personally, have done wrong and will then make the appropriate amends if we deem it necessary. But if you can’t show me what I have personally done to wrong you, there is no way I am going to feel guilty!
This is why systemic racism flourishes. Because it’s impossible to pin it down. There is no one person on which to place the blame. There is no one person to shoulder the responsibility so we can each let ourselves off the hook and sit comfortably in our belief that we live in a post-racial society where the so-called race-baiters and rioters have simply been misinformed.
You Win! Wait, Do You?
If you won the 100 meter dash at the Olympic Games and later found out that your coaches and teammates had rigged the race, how would you feel? Was it your fault? No. Did you rig the race? No. Technically, you are not to blame so you can kick back with your gold medal and call it a job well done.
But you are part of the team that rigged the race. You are part of the collective culture of a team that believed winning was paramount at any cost. And you, as a member of said team, contributed to this culture of winning at any cost, regardless of whether or not you were aware of the plan to rig the race. Just as the nation of Israel was called to corporate repentance after the sin of Achan, the entire metaphorical team in this scenario is to blame and you are part of that team.
Shifting Our Focus
So we must move the conversation away from individual guilt and culpability to a collective understanding of how we got here in the first place. We bear the weight of our past together. Our team, our people, rigged the race and even though the rules were rectified in an attempt to make things fair, there is no re-starting the race and there is no doubt that we continue to thrive and benefit from that rigging to this day. Don’t believe me? Here are just a few ways this currently plays out…
- White kids are more likely to make the headlines if they go missing than Black and other minority kids.
- Having a White-sounding name makes you 50% more likely to get a call-back for a job than if you had a Black-sounding name.
- You are twice as likely to be pulled over while driving if you are Black (see #DrivingWhileBlack)
- Not only are you more likely to be pulled over but you are also 6x more likely to be incarcerated if you are Black.
- Want to buy a new car? Best do that while White. You’ll be charged $700 less, on average, than your Black counterpart.
- And, perhaps most devastating, Black teens are 21 times more likely to be killed by the police than White teens. 21 times (see #AliveWhileBlack).
First Understanding, then Responsibility
Out of a collective understanding of our past should spring a collective responsibility. When we know better, we do better,* right? So it’s not “how long do we have to feel guilty” but rather, “what do we do now?” What do we do with the gold medal hanging from our communal neck now that we understand how we got it?
I can’t take off the medal.
You can’t take off the medal.
We have to take it off together. We have to take it off together and lay it at the feet of those who have been forced their entire lives to run behind us. We lay it at the feet of those who have been running all their lives at the short end of a rigged race. We lay it at the feet of those who have been bearing the weight for us, taking the blame and burying their kids.
And until we’re ready to do that, I for one, am going to keep on feeling guilty.
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*Maya Angelou