Unhurried
That’s going to be my word for 2016. We were having dinner with friends on New Year’s Eve and we each tried to summarize 2015 over our tacos and salsa and the word that kept bubbling to the surface for me was busy. 2015 was busy. We had someone (or several someones) living with us for nearly the entire year, most notably my wonderful sister-in-law and her two boys for almost 4 months. I also set a vigorous writing schedule for myself and pushed hard on my novel for long hours amidst the usual work and family life. All good things. But by the time Christmas rolled around, I was pooped. And ready to regroup.
When I started thinking through my options for resolutions last week I wanted to change everything. All the things. You know, just become a completely different person. But I’ve settled down and after some further contemplation yesterday I decided on the word unhurried.
Here’s how I’m hoping to live into that word…
One thing at a time
I’m going to do one thing at a time. I’ve talked about this before and it seems pretty rudimentary. But I am the queen of multitasking. I like to work on a sewing project while watching something on Netflix while dinner simmers and I work on the next chapter or blog post in my head. I look over my work notes and send work emails while I make the boys’ lunches and speed clean the bathroom for Cgroup while also helping with homework and setting out backpacks for morning.
This lends itself to a feeling of constant frenzy and the frenetic pace of it all does not allow me to be present for any of the aforementioned things. I come to the end of the day and sometimes I can barely remember what came to pass in the 16 hours since last I paused to think. My attention span seems to be dwindling as well. When I do sit down to read, say, or write, I’m finding that after a few minutes my mind is darting to other places or I feel the urge to check my messages.
Yesterday Jason and the boys went to play frisbee golf and I had two hours to myself. After finishing work, I decided to make some granola. Just that. Nothing else. I just made granola. It was harder than I thought! I wanted so badly to turn on Netflix or jot some notes for work in between chopping the nuts and measuring the oats. But I stuck with it.
Then I made some cookie dough. I had to beat the sugar and butter for four minutes and I’ll admit that I caved and vacuumed the living room while I waited. Eh, it’s only January 2nd. This is going to take some practice!
“I have plenty of time.”
When I went to see Oprah last year, she talked about the mental phrases we use without realizing it. It’s known as “self-talk.” Studies apparently show that 80% of a woman’s self-talk is negative. Men, I think, were closer to 50/50, if I remember right, but don’t quote me on that.
As an exercise, she had us look over a long list of possible phrases we use. If we saw one that we regularly used, like, “I hate my body” or “I will never be able to do this,” we had to cross it out and find one to replace it. Like, “I’m really starting to love my body,” or “I will keep trying.” You get the idea.
Anyhow, one of the ones that stood out for me was “I don’t have enough time.” Which is false on many levels. I don’t actually have so much to do that I lack the time to do it. I have plenty of time. I might not be using it well but I have plenty of it. We live in a scarcity culture, according to Dr. Brene Brown, where the dominant messaging is one of “not enough.” We wake up thinking “I didn’t get enough sleep” and then we proceed through our days absorbing the ads and the billboards that tell us we aren’t rich enough, thin enough, brave enough, happy enough and it all adds up to a general feeling of “not enough.”
Feeling like I don’t have enough time is what drives me to multitask. So 2016 will be the year for uni-tasking. And I’ll just keep repeating “I have plenty of time” until I actually believe it.
More
Ok, so I don’t need more time but there are two things I would like more of in 2016. Music and meditation. I’m not a music person, per se (ok, not at all!), but I like music and I’d like to make an effort to listen to music more often. If I’m not filling all the extra little gaps with other things, surely there is room for more music.
I’ve been waking up early for about a month now and starting my day with intentionality and prayer and it has been grounding and peace-filling and as much as I like to sleep, I’m going to try to keep at it. However. At that time of day I cannot close my eyes or attempt ANY form of “being still” because I fall asleep in a hot second. Prayerful meditation needs to happen at some other juncture in the day because morning meditation = zzzzzzzzz.
I’m going to try ten minutes before lunch on the weekdays. That’s doable. And I don’t think I will be prone to falling asleep at that time of day. I’ll have to get back to you on this one.
Fly fishing
I’ve been wanting to learn how to fish for a few years now. I really think it will enhance our camping excursions. Can’t you just see me catching us some dinner while the boys skip rocks and Jason works on slacklining. Wouldn’t that beat all?!
My dad is a fisherman and I used to go out with him sometimes but in truth I just went for the donuts we grabbed on our way to the lake and never actually learned how to fish. We mentioned it to my dad over Christmas and he kindly showed Jason some fly fishing basics and bequeathed us some starter poles. So 2016 is going to be the year for learning fly fishing. You can’t really get a more unhurried hobby than fishing, can you?
Monthly Updates
I’m going to get back on track with my monthly updates here on the blog and will add in a status report for my 2016 resolutions. I’m hoping that if I regroup and rethink on a monthly basis, I might be more likely to remain mindful of my goals. We’ll see!
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Past New Year’s Posts